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Santa Comes to New Orleans: We Got Proof

Yesterday we awoke to a muggy morning with the trees and the grass wet. Santa Claus must have had a rough night of it coming past our way with the foggy weather in parts, the very reason he needed Rudolph at the head of his sleigh to light the way over the swamps and marshes and the moist air that hits south Louisiana at this time of year.

Santa Comes to New Orleans: We Got Proof

I can imagine Santa’s glasses must have fogged up and I guess he must have had one of his helper elves who rides with him. No one talks about this but I understand he has three elves that ride with him on his worldwide night journey that do things like wipe his glasses, repack and light his pipe, serve him hot cocoa from the many thermoses he carries in the sleigh and of course at stops along the way some grain and such for the reindeer, you know they need energy food.

They don’t depict these little details in representations of Santa because, well, if they showed little elves sitting next to him and the in the jump seat behind it would kind of mess with our romantic notions of Santa alone, all the bigness of him, riding on through the night delivering toys and gifts. How do I know all this? Well, let’s just say I have my sources. As a reporter and journalist and opinion maker for this website there are just some things, some information that I’m privy to.

I’ve also heard, but I can’t determine this definitely, that there is more than one Santa. Yes, they all come from the North Pole and all work with the head Santa at the workshop. But with the increase of the world population over the generations Santa has had to farm out his Santaness to sons and family members.

Make no mistake these are not fake Santas, but real Santas in that they have all the goodness as well as all of the magical powers of the head Santa. Santa just felt that he needed to be more efficient in his operations and in being more efficient he could serve mankind better and be able to go to all of those homes that keep the spirit of Christmas alive and all of those homes that have folks that still believe in Santa.

Now really I don’t now if all of that is true, you know, the several Santas that are part of the Santa team. The thing is if this is true what does it matter, for they are as real as the head Santa. I understand that some years Santa just sends out the Santa team on Christmas while he coordinates and organizes them from the North Pole using the latest GPS guidance system and digital technology to get presents out and down chimneys on Christmas eve.

When I got up Christmas morning, picked up the two papers — we get the Times Picayune and The Advocate (finally New Orleans is a two paper town again!) — from the dew-moistened grass and went back inside to get the living room ready for my two nephews to come down and see what Santa brought — our tradition is that I get up before everyone and get downstairs and put the coffee on, light the tree and light the fire in the fireplace no matter what the temperature is even if its 75 degrees, it’s the aesthetic quality of the thing, even if we have to turn the air conditioner on, which we did this day — I noticed that the cookies and cup of cocoa that we left for Santa had been half eaten and fully emptied and next to it were two napkins that Santa had wiped his sooty fingerprints on.

Then I looked over at the fireplace.

There plain as day was Santa’s big fingerprints all over it. Wow! He must have needed some leverage to boast himself up the skinny chimney. I don’t really know how he does it, how he manages to reduce his bulk and shoot up chimneys and onto his hovering sleigh where his helper elves and reindeer await to move on to the next house.

I’m amazed at how he manages to do it. Must have an incredible and efficient system he’s put together over the many generations he’s been doing this. And he never seems to fail at it, at least not that we’ve heard. I’ve also been led to believe Santa has a great publicity system as well.

My nephews waited at the top of the stairs one sneaking down occasionally to get a glimpse when he heard my sister and me talking about Santa’s prints and half-eaten cookies. Then my mom was up and the boys came down the youngest one coming over to gawk at the evidence that St. Nick had actually been there.

Now I’m just going to tell you another thing I’ve heard and have no way to corroborate this but it’s my understanding that the way you can tell the number one Santa paid you a visit is by his fingerprints on a napkin and on the fireplace, that is if you have a fireplace. But as I said Santa has a really great publicity machine so maybe the whole Santa team is trained to do this. So you never really know.

In fact, I don’t really know if any of this is true. I’m just dutifully reporting what I’ve heard through back channels that I’m privy to as the writer for this blog.

And I understand that the foggy Louisiana air finally cleared as old St. Nick flew on to his next important destinations.

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