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Hurricanes? We Don’t Need No Stinking Hurricanes, Señor! Not in New Orleans

OK, OK so now we are officially into the hurricane season here in New Orleans and we hear that it’s going to be a slow season of it what with that watchamacallit weather system, that old El Niño swishing and swashing and buckling and moving things around.

Hurricanes? We Don’t Need No Stinking Hurricanes, Señor! Not in New Orleans

Largest pump in the world, the 17th Street Canal pumping station is supposed to keep New Orleans from flooding again. We'll see...

Largest pump in the world, the 17th Street Canal pumping station is supposed to keep New Orleans from flooding again. We’ll see…

Well, that’s fine by me. But you know it only takes one nice little storm to mess things up. And let’s hope that this year we don’t get any, and the year after that and so on into infinity.

But, heck, dat ain’t gonna happen, cher. No way, no how. You know that old mother nature has got us in its bullseye and just can’t wait to wallop us with another one.

We don’t need another Hurricane Katrina, ever.
Heck, if you look at the history of this place major hurricanes are par for the course, I mean hurricanes are our middle name, like New ‘Hurricane’ Orleans might suit us better.

Do you think that if our city’s founding fathers could’ve seen a map of all the hurricanes that have slung their way across the Gulf of Mexico and up our rear end over the eaons they would have founded a city here?

I mean just in the last 200 years when they started to record all of this stuff the lines of hurricanes is so thick on the map that it looks like some kid just scribbled it on there with a big crayon completely obscuring the city.

Yeah, you right. We here are sitting ducks and those old majestic storms just love to visit us every few years or so and punch through the swamps and forests and neighborhoods and people’s lives.

If Bienville could have seen that map he might have said, well, why don’t we just move the city couple hundred miles this way or that. But, of course, that would not be practical because, well, we are here because of the river. And some would argue we are here in spite of the river. Ha, ha.

So we put up our levees and flood walls, construct the world’s largest pump at the head of the 17th Street Canal hoping against hope that we will manage to make it through the next one. That’s if we can really trust the job the Corps of Engineers have supposedly done. I mean the reason we flooded the last time was because of them.

Let’s hope that they at least learned from their mistakes. But heck, it’s an agency of the federal government, that’ve spent billions upon billions of dollars. Has ANY federal agency EVER learned from their mistakes?

Ready At Our Place
Most folks here nowadays scoff at the notion of evacuating again. When I was growing up we NEVER evacuated. After the storm passed everyone was out on the streets cleaning up the next morning putting their lives back in order.

At our house we got food, we good provisions, we got water and we got a nice little Honda generator that gives us sufficient electricity to run the fridge, fans, computer and TV. What more do we need?

Now if I lived below New Orleans in St. Bernard Parish evacuation would be my middle name. Ain’t no way I’m gonna stay down dere, babe, even for a little Category Oner.

So, yeah, we don’t need no stinking hurricanes, although I know it is something Mother Nature needs to do to restore and renew. Let’s hope that the Little Child (El Niño) manages to stave one off for another year, at least. You know, if we just had little bitty hurricanes rather than the big ones, that would be OK.

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Posted in Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans History, New Orleans Life.

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